im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
