Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize