fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
