I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize