i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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