Who did Billy Mays play for?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
