Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
