I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
