booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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