Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
