i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
