then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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