dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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