Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
