forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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