I've blown a few things in my day
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
