Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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