So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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