xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
