Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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