5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
