HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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