we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
