thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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