I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
