Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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