Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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