we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
