Someone shit on the floor
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
