you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize