yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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