He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
