It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Your cock deserves a montage
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize