oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
