She's JV to your varsity
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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