Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
