Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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