you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
