Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
