My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
