The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
