We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
