You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
