Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He shit in the fireplace
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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