I think I died a long time ago.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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