I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
