ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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