Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize