so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Two words: blizzard sex
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Pooping to opera.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
