the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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