Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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