yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize