I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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