Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
