Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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