I'm drive I can fine osifer
its not stalking. its research.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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