Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
