Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I faked an abortion last night.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
