The maid of honor just puked.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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