Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
