woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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