Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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