i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
