I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you traded sex for a burrito?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
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All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
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nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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