Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i dont even know how to be here
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i think i just lost a toe
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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